recap...still SSOI

Saturday - soccer and screaming match with a big fat loser dad who was yelling at me over a car spot...seriously dude grow up and get a life. DH went to a bucks night and got very pissed. T had to work so I couldnt pick her up till 9.45. Seriously KFC child labour...1100am to 9.45pm with a 20 min break. Where are the IR laws?

Watched brokeback mtn on DVD...what was all the fuss? crap movie. the characters shit me, they were selfish, cruel and the movie was just plain old dumb...give me "My beautiful Laundrette" any day for a boy loves boy movie.

Also watched that bloody Geisha movie. DUMB as the book. We aren't prostitutes....but they auctioned off my virginity? Huh? what an emotionally oppressive movie.
Went for a walk, but my back is still not improving..

Sunday . DH didnt really surface till 5pm = bad hangover.
Walked to the park with the kids and the dog. Back is still sore..:0(

SSOI 2

For fucksake it never ends..... I just got called away from my desk to see the carpet on the stairs...apparently there has been something spilt on it.

seriously... i kid you not...

www.seek.com.au is looking good.

SSOI part two...

GOD its never ending. Why is it when DennyCrane upsets me does he insist on coming around and annoying me even more....


OH GOD...
why am I am being punished.

SSOI

ssoi - SO SICK OF IT.

really. Today I am back at work when DennyCrane comes up and sits down and tells me that half of my job spec (although spelt out in english) is really 'unofficial" and i shouldn't be talking to staff about any real issues at all. and that my role is more training and recruitment cause we don't officially have a HR dept. If people want to raise official HR type issues I need to direct them to the MD or the Admin/payroll manager. What the?

Seriously on the 7th at lunch he tells me what a great job I am doing and how much I am valued, blah blah blah...and then tells me how he wants to formalise the HR side of my role to give me status etc.

So like WHAT THE FUCK now?


Why am I here. Seriously.
I can get more money elsewhere (like serious money more 30% +)
My shares are worth $82K - but minus the tax - and they aren't even avaible to me until the end of 2007/2008 so why bother?

There are other organisations out there with great cultures great benefits etc...
why am I here?

tests, sleepybobos and crankyfuckers

Today I took a sick day. Safi did not sleep much on Wed. night and subsequently neither did I....took Jappy to developmental paeditrician for tests etc, so results come tomorrow. In the afternoon, sick Safi and I had a sleep from 2-7pm. DH then came home chucking man hissyfits etc and being a general fucker and shitting me. Tabba got a lift home with the bf after work.

Not nuckingfuts no more..

Woohoo. Psych at EAP says I don't have to see her no more cause i am not nuckingfuts...everyone else around me is!

Spent afternoon with aircon mechanic who can't fix my 10month old ducted aircon unit - hence sitting at home freezing tits off!! New bits to fix it (all under warranty) reside in Melb and could take 1 -2 weeks to get here...for fuck sake! I don't do the cold too well.

*screams*

Anon Spammers posting on bloggers

Dude - like pissoff.
I don't need my penis enlargened.
I don't need to grow extra hair
I don't need to remove unwanted hair (neat and tiny tassie thanks).
I don't want to get credit.
I don't want to hear from horny housewives, spring breakers, milfs, cougars, or spankers.
I don't want $43,000,000 from the republic of Congo.
I don't want any Amway.
I don't want to webcam with perverts.

I just wanta blog. So - all the spammers who post anon on my blogger, please, respectfully, get the fuck off my blog.
Thanks

STATS.....I passed......

Woooooooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooooooo I passed my sucky stats subject - like just passed it - but pass none the less

Recap.

Saturday - Soccer was cancelled again - did the birthday dinner. However 7/12 didn't bother to turn up till 8.45pm..booking was 8pm. Late people shit me. Food was exceptional as it always is at www.ubud.com.au and it makes be very excited to be going to bali in 150 or so days time.

Sunday - got up went for a walk. L came over for lunch as did Simon the BF with the car. Really nice nice kid, but he is still 18, with a car, with hormones. He then invited her to meet his parents and grandparents and she went out to jewish bowling with them!

Monday - DennyCrane is back....worked out the correlation between Dennys mood swings. Big MD in country - he is Denny. MD o/S or on holidays he is okay. Hmmm. My partnerincrime at work is off at one of our branchs so I have no redundancy sanity check at the moment. He called me down from my desk to show me that the chairs/tables in our staff break out room where not in the right configuration. Yup I get paid shitloads a year to orchestra a chair move. smart.

Tuesday - Denny is here still....too many things to add to the recap on that one. Have my next EAP tomorrow and am feeling rather inspired - especially when it comes to doing my Mandala project for uni. Have made a start on my other subject - HIP. Very technical, very biological. But none the less okay. Really want to strive for a HD this subject.REALLY WANT A HD>>>>gotta get better at my mid semester studying for exams rather than cramming.

seratus, lima puluh, enam tidur-tidur....

Woohoo 156 sleeps till Bali.

Yup I was right - indo media reports on the tsunami. Initial reports at 5 - now over 300 with a further 200 or so not accounted for.'

War in Lebanon is getting worse. Hoda wants me to join her in a march this Saturday so I think I will be going.

Anita is not good. She is really really clinically depressed. We are all concerned about her. Going to call SANDS to see what we can do to help her.

Feeling okay today - got an appointment at Japs school with the principal then a dr appt for a referral to a developmental paediatrician. Bitch teacher is not longer his teacher - he has been swapped into another year 3 class with a much nicer teacher. However bitch teacher commented to him in the playground yesterday in front of his friends "dont' listen to anything he says he's a naughty boy"

What a total bullying Bitch. Have escalated it to the Dept of Education. She wants to be a bully - cool - come try it on someone your own size! Game on.

life is so bittersweet - hickies

*nah*

what a monday!

Safi started preschool. Was soooooooooooooo proud of her being so cute and so brave - she was a little shy. But she demanded a homework book to take to preschool with her! When I picked her up she promptly got her bag put it on, demanded to come back again, turned to her teacher and said thank you for having me!! awwwwwwwwwwwwwh cute.

Tsunami in Java - updates at the moment - 5 dead (so in indo speak - prolly at least 100)

Poor Hoda is freaking out over the new war in Lebanon. Yes its a war. Not a dispute - not an issue this is a WAR!People are dying. Children are being bombed fleeing the UN compound and dying in the street. Mick is so pro-israel polarised by my pro-arab/pro-palestinian stance. Pretty funny sometimes but tonight he says"but honey 50% of my customers are Jewish - you should support israel. *right*...not! Hoda and Malek are naturally concerned about their extended family in Lebanon and hopefully they are all safe and okay.

Gordie had his eye op today and is currently on the blind side of Helen Keller and will remain that way for about a week.

Anita, my beaufitul friend who is/was pregnant with her 2nd child - miscarried today and had to deliver her deceased foetus. It sucks that they can't just give you a general and do a caesarean for late term miscarrages. It seems so purposively cruel to make you go through with a brought on labour (induced with drugs) and then forced to give birth to a dead foetus. It seriously sucks.

Joe is being posted to Kuwait next week - at least its not Lebanon!

L has sent thru the listing of restaruant choices for her bday dinner (still not sure if I am going to participate. I love her and all but I am not sure what my ROI is on this relationship. She uses me for all her emotional rescues (I am happy to help) but then chooses to hang out with her dodgyloserfriends who use her up emotional, physically and financiall and then chucks a hissy when I quesiton it. The restaurants she choose are way to priced for some of our friends to come along and then she wants to go to TANK - a dodgy nightclub that has 100 doorbitches and makes to line up twice before they decide you are cool enuff to enter - puleeeeeeeze - tell me how a line up is exclusive? For Fucksake... I dunno - its all too hard. I will maybe book Ubud and just tell everyone where we are going and if she turns up she turns up....

Oh and Tabba officially past into teen skankdom - she has a hickey. Kinda chuffed for her in a way. it must be exciting to have that teen lurrrrrrrrve shit going on. and Simon is hot and it must have a lot of cred for her dodgy friends when he is 18 with a real job and car.

gotta meet him soon.

I could so eat my body weight in vanilla slices right now, but its okay. Life is bittersweet and it can be overwhelming - as today has demonstrated- but only if I let it.it!! Back still sore - from sitting all day at work. SERATUS LIMA PULUH, DELIPAN , TIDUR-TIDUR!!!

:0)dodgy website click here

twice the walking

got up early and did the bush walk for the first time in 7 days and it felt gooooooood. then came back did a lazy sunday breakfast (papers, french toast, coffee). then after lunch me Safi/Jap walked to video shop and came home via Johnston st park.


then did a truck load of washing, hanging, folding etc. it was good to have a quiet one.Not sure how I feel about next weekends bday thing for Leen. Not feeling too positive about the whole situation and I feel really upset by her actions. Its up to me to get over it if I want to move forward, so I need to reflect on this during the coming week.

Mick says just to go, but I am not sure if I am up to it emotionally. Got another visit to the EAP on the 26, so I will continue to focus on me, my feelings and my cognition.

Gordie is very panicked by his surgery tomorrow morn and will be blind for a week or so.

On the up side, I looked at myself neeeekid in the mirror today and I am looking significantly thinner - and hotter!!

poppys wallet and a big recap.

Today - Saturday, seratus enam puluh, tidur tidur...

its cold its raining and after friday nights E&T I have a headcold and slight hangover. Today I got up early and did the groceries. So broke this pay it sucks, uni fees, rego nah bills everywhere. Found some guys wallet in the creek when Safi and I went to feed the ducks, took it to the copshop.

This has been an immensly sucky week here is a recap..

Monday - leaned over to write something on my whiteboard and hurt my back - there goes walking, there goes personal training for the next two weeks!!!! *nah*. Had words with Oysterboy at work. Had yumcha for Cougars anniversary and I was super good, not too much fried stuff, no mango pudding and no ## afterwards. After lunch my back just got worse and worse and more painful.

Tuesday - went to doctor. In heaps of pain. really sore. took a couple of mersyndol and spent the day in bed. feel very sorry for myself.

Wednesday - laid on the lounge with a heat pack and the kids at home. J went to Disney on ice with S and T went shopping. Me and Saf stayed at home.Had some comfort food and a binge....

Thursday - went to work with heatpack. Oysterboy has tried to undermine me in my absence. Bastard. line has been crossed. Dumbarse.

Friday - Went to work for the 1/2. Denny was trying to be cheeky and make a joke of our disagreement at the management meeting last week and is caught up in the huge issue of a replacement toaster at work. Went to the movies with K, Duff, Alex, M, Cougar and saw Pirates of the Carribean. Did an online psych test - two of them actually and they both said I had high scores in line with ADHD...I have always joked about it, and always felt slightly smarter than the average bear and more highly strung than others (especially if I have red fanta.

Leen is playing games big time. Her birthday party version 1.0 is on this saturday with tiff/Shaa/Andy (since when did Shaa stop being homophobic?) and her other loser pill head friends. Shaa was really smarmy with Erika about the party and how she/I didn't get invited. I sent her an email with a what the? And had a fight with her on the phone.

I dunno. I like hanging out with her, I like being her friend only sometimes I feel its a little onesided. like I am the friend you have when you are down and need cheering up. She still wants me to go ahead and organise the birthday party version 1.2 next Saturday night.

I just don't know. I just don't know if being in a friendship with her is benefitting me?


Nah...no exercise all week. It sucks, my back is still dodgy.and I have a head cold.I broke, feel like shit...feel bad......*Sookylala** big time.

Heros, Ferries, Wedges

Billy don't be a hero
Don't be a fool with your life....
Billy don't be a hero
Come back and make me your wife....
and as Billy started to go...
She said "keep your pretty hair long"
Billy don't be a hero
Come back to me....PaperLACE

Today I saw my beautiful 20yo Nephew J who is in the army and is in training to be shipped off to Iraq on 25/7. He is such a great person and grown up and I love him lots. I am less scared about his trip that I was, but I was troubled by the fact that training has included learning arabic phrases such as "I am not american I am australian" and that the compound where he will be living is fully stocked with starbucks, maccas, burger king etc....Fu*king Americans....Seriously they wonder why terrorists target them.

Anyways he is a big boy,has a good head on his shoulders and I pray to god, allah, buddha and Visnu and anyone else who will listen, that he will be save and return back after his tour.

He got a great little snapshot of Sydney today, went and picked him up from barracks, took him home to see the house then drove into the city, caught the ferry to Manly and back again, then went off to Woolwich to the pub for wedges (didn't have tooo many I was good!)then back to barracks. He loved it and plans to bring his wife E (yes he got married young, but they are in lurve) down for a holiday and maybe even contemplate putting in for a transfer to Sydney after his tour in Iraq.

We have a good chat about his dad (my eldest brother B from whom he has been estranged from since he was 12)but I am not sure if B will ever see the amazing adults they have become unless he takes responsiblity for his past mistakes and moves on. He is a great person, and an awesome nephew.


The funny/sad thing is - his first overseas holiday is not like most Aussie kids to Bali but to Bagdad! Seriously he better come home in one piece or there tears before bedtime...

Clint&Andys Housewarming.

Big Saturday...
Got nails done
Went to NthChineseRestaurant for lunch with S & G
Went on a powershop and bought some cool clothes in size 16!!
Went for a big walk down the bush
Had to deal with a DH manhissy re shopping.....GOD like I haven't been clothes shopping in like 5 months! do I bitch at him for buying stuff.....
Went and bought new undies that fit (as old undies were falling down)
Picked up L with DH and we went to Clint and Andys housewarming at Pyrmont with me wearing my fabulous new dress and looking big hair super hot 80s. Really enjoyed myself. Drank way too much, but had fun doing so.

Bootcamp Virgin

Hey after being inspired by My friend at work - I joined a bootcamp this morning.

1) 6am no coffee 3 degrees does not make for a happy Molly.
2) cranky nanna shhhhhhhed for laughing (anyone who knows me knows - never to shhhhh me -ask me I will happily comply - shhhhhhh me and so incur my wrath).
3) there were hills for running- jogging...

AT THIS STAGE YOU are probably reading this thinking omg what a lot of whinging...it was all to do with point number 1 - but having said this - about 10 mins into up - I am warmed up, I am keeping up and I was infront of the cranky nanna with the ducksbum face.

So I really got into AND enjoyed it. I was stoked I could keep up with people who had been training for months. Yes I have been exercising @ least 6 times per week for the last 7 months- but that is all at my own pace and drive, so being able to compare and complete was tops.

I reminded myself before I got there (in my no coffee state) that when I first started walking the first bush circuit near my house took me 1 hour and 15 mins to walk. Now I walk it in 45 mins and I have jogged/walked it in 32 mins - so I have come a long way.

Also I figure if I can join a Bootcamp in the dark in the middle of winter - the ones I do in warmer months can't be that bad!! So I have signed up to do 8 sessions in the next month - just twice a week to suppliment my walking/jogging that I do daily. No news on Montessori yet for Jappy. Its really stressing me out but I am trying to be calm about it.


Denny Crane took me to Lunchtoday for my 10 year anniversary at work. And it was really nice to get the attention and get his ear for a bit. Hope it lasts


Seratus enam puluh, sembilan tidur-tidur....till I go to Bali...
:0)

seratus, tujuhpuluh tidur tidur

170 sleeps till Bali

OMGIVF

Forgot to mention....Emma is Pregnant - via IVF - as a single woman...so proud of her - she will make an awesome mum!! bad news is baby is due 29/12 when I will be os...would have really liked to be here for her BUT its okay she has her mum her sisters, big family. She is just amazing and I am so in awe of her for doing it!!

Boobs

I find this practice of breast binding = horrific but in a complete opposite to the trends of western society to condition our girls and dress out tweens inappropriately (bras/ tarty clothes etc)both of which I consider to be wrong.
But as the western media jumps onto this practice to champion its reduction (as with genital mutilation in women) - its a shame the media and society doesn't address the really really concerning issue.......Child abuse. More concerning than the practice (of breast binding) is that in 2006 - we still have to protect children from sexual predators and abuse - you would think that when a civilization is that advanced to have computers, email, transport, etc......we don't have the technology/conditioning/higher intelligence to protect our most valuable resource.

Today was a good day - I achieved lots. Had some good counselling resolutions at work - and didn't yell at DennyCrane! Tomorrow is my 10 year anniversary at work (i sound soooo grownup) and Denny is taking me to Lunch to celebrate. He does care. I hope. Still going to hit him up for a payrise (15%) Also tomorrow Morn I am joining a group training/bootcamp thingy with Dean at Kyle Bay - it should be challenging, hurty but fun.

I had a lighbulb moment today - I think when Alywnne died in 1995, although the shock brought me out of the jarrodcoma/haze, i may have adopted a coping mechanism and choose to take on role I did not need to - role of Alwynnes responsibilities and concerns or even what I perceived were her concerns etc. When Gordie was diagnosed with MS last year - it threw me into a coping frenzy. I was supporting him emotionally, physicially, and fiscally to an extend - and whilst I was happy to do it - it do put some stress on me. The point is - I invite stress to take on. But I don't always have to . Yes I can support him like a sister but I don't need to worry about him like a mother. Same with Dad and Lozz&Joe and even Bruce. I need to be primarily concerned with the members of my household. Gunna explore this concept some more.

EPA

Ha did the EAP (teehee EPA) today and it was a good experience. Going back in 3 weeks time. Whees are wobbly but not off the cart *whew*.

1) being freaked out by stats is normal.
2) i have carried a big load this year (MS/family etc etc)
3) Its okay for me to feel off centre and recognise that its human and i wont be judged.
4) I am not nuckingfuts!

:0)