5.30 am and the magpies looks menacing..

Got up this morn for a big suburban walk (40 mins brisk walking). The magpies looked a little menacing protecting their new spring babies from harm. So I powerwalked with my sunnies on backways (hope no one saw me looking so glamorous).

But they can be dangerous - a boy in the local paper was riding his bike when they attacked, to avoid the magpies he stacked his little BMX and smashed and broke his teeth and nose. I remember a hideous incident in Forster back when I was 8 staying in a lovely fibro (Tregony) babyboomer holiday house. I trotted off the beach for a play and on the way back got stuck under a tree as nasty magpies swooped at my platinum blonde hair... Eventually a fisherman came by alerted by my high pitch girly screams and escorted me to safety.

Bastard magpies...
I know we can't shoot them, but I am not wearing an icecream container on my head either

Thank God for Gay men

I love gay men.

They make the best girlfriends a woman can have. Thank goodness my husband loves them too! I would hate some homophobic man in my life. Anyways Marc&Steven are Micks big gay boyfriends and thank the lord they are in our lives!! I think he is the son they never had.

Marc had heard about my decision to toy with lapband surgery and promptly rang me to tell me the horrors that aren't in the marketing material the surgeon sends you. LIke 1/4 fail.
Like - it can give you a lifetime of reflux. Like - its not really fixing the core issues.

The Boys own and manage

Thank God for Gay men

I love gay men.

They make the best girlfriends a woman can have. Thank goodness my husband loves them too! I would hate some homophobic man in my life. Anyways Marc&Steven are Micks big gay boyfriends and thank the lord they are in our lives!! I think he is the son they never had.

Marc had heard about my decision to toy with lapband surgery and promptly rang me to tell me the horrors that aren't in the marketing material the surgeon sends you. LIke 1/4 fail.
Like - it can give you a lifetime of reflux. Like - its not really fixing the core issues.

The Boys own and manage

THE STARK REALITY....

I am fat.
I am overweight.
According to the BMI magical # thingy I am ....39.7 or just 0.3 from morbidly obese.
I am 101.5 kg.
But how did I get here ? (rhetorical question - we will cover this one off another time when I am less fragile I promise)

I am not self loathing - I am just laying the brutal facts on the table. Lovely, beautiful and fabulous friends and loved ones tell me "I love you the way you are"., "you are gorgeous"..and to an extend I do believe them. However - not for the media, not for the public - but for me - I wish to be a little lighter. A little healthier and a little fitter.

My heaviest ever Adult weight was 108.5 - yes off the FM radio dial (a BMI of 42.4).

I have just decided not to take the perceived easy way out - and submit to lapband surgery - even though I found a surgeon willing to do it (Willing able and about to be $9K richer at the end of it!!). My partner doesn't want me undergoing a unneccessary procedure and GA.

He has also acknowledged in the past he may have had some (without malicious intent) some sabotaging behaviours when it came to successful weight loss for me. He aint a freak feeder - thank god - but would regularly reward me with treaties (treaties = icecream, dinosaur lollies...naughitness etc). So almost like fowards backwards land....2 kilos lighter, 1 back on...

So as a result come with me on a journey if you will - I know I am talking it up - as I move forward to remove the physical and emotional load from my frame.